Breakfast with a Smile

Leftover grilled beef burger and organic Applegate hotdog, beet greens cooked in duck fat, and a zucchini baked in olive oil. 

Step Four: The Part Where I Have to Feed My New Friends in England

We do a lot of complaining in America when it comes to food. It's too expensive, it's hard to find grass-fed or organic, all I have is a Stop and Shop, I don't want to give Whole Paycheck my whole paycheck, it's so wasteful, the farmers' market is far away and meets at an inconvenient time, etc. etc.

I realize my interpretation of the "difficulties" surrounding acquiring quality food is clouded by the fact that I've always lived in the northeast but chances are that wherever you are in the US, you'll have an easier time eating grain-free real foods there than in the UK.

As evidenced by my ill-fated pursuit of Whole Foods earlier in my trip, they do exist. And they actually had more organic produce selection than the ones I've visited in the US. But unless you live in London or Glasgow, you're out of luck. And I have yet to come across a single health food store or chain that sells produce (there are a couple that sell non-perishables, supplements, and beauty products). Chain supermarkets that cater to the average customer who doesn't care much about the quality of the soil their vegetables came from or that their chicken breast came from a real, live, clucking chicken at all (let alone a happy and healthy one) are the norm.

I can tell myself that everyday I drive past plenty of sheep and cows munching away happily and vibrantly green fields and that European countries don't use the worst of the pesticides that are used in the US, but the fact of the matter is, if you want to eat squeaky clean and feel good about what you're eating (and to me that means organic, small local farms, grass-fed), you might just go hungry or get very bored.

Obviously I don't live here, so I'm speaking from a tourist's perspective. I occasionally passed small farms and if I'd have been there longer, I would have made better mental notes about where they were, turned around, and investigated (easier said than done when the sign's made of cardboard and on the side of the highway and someone's on your tail because you're going too slowly trying to figure out which lane you need to be in for the upcoming roundabout).  I'm sure I could make a life for myself here where I could buy whole animals that lived a suitable life from beginning to end, keep them in a chest freezer, and feel good about my meat choices. Produce is definitely another story, though. And I understand. The growing season is only just getting underway where I live at home, and here it's much cloudier and cooler. I was only able to find local (no mention of organic) cabbage, asparagus, rhubarb, and strawberries. I bought the first three local but I just couldn't justify purchasing the anemic-looking British strawberries. I'm sure they perk up as the summer warms up. Everything else I pretty much was able to buy organic in the supermarket, Waitrose, except for a few things that I got at the market.

I don't have too many meals to share. You're not supposed to go to the treatment hungry or full and you're supposed to be a bit dehydrated. This was hard for me because I usually start my mornings with broth or occasionally herbal tea, and that jumpstarts my digestion so that by the time I'm done making breakfast, I'm usually hungry. That sets me up well to be hungry once or twice more the rest of the day, depending on how large my meals are. The first few days I ate nothing before my appointment, and then the second week I tried having a small snack. Neither made much of a difference on my appetite for the rest of the day. I regularly suffered from gas, bloating, reflux, and insomnia with occasional bouts of nausea, so that definitely dampened my appetite. It's hard to say whether it was the Oxyklenz, the act of having the treatments, the treatments themselves, different water, different food, different schedule, etc. but regardless, my calorie count over the last two weeks has been a bit low. Some of these meals I had to stop eating halfway through and put away for next time so that, in combination with buying produce early on with the intention that my appetite would come back to normal (I don't often feel pleasantly hungry but I at least don't often feel so sick that I can't have a normal-sized meal), I ended up with many leftover vegetables that I tried to consume towards the end despite feeling sick. That's never a good idea.

Two other things may have messed me up a bit, too.  First, I laid the FODMAPs on heavy. I'd been doing this (in addition to more starch) with quite a bit of success through most of April and May (perhaps thanks to the LDN). After the combination of the first colon lavage in MA, Oxyklenz, the stress of finals, and the death of one of my cats, my digestion took a hit. Despite being slightly positive for SIBO, one of my doctors encouraged me to eat lots of prebiotics while I was here. I also couldn't imagine NOT feeding my new friends with their favorite food, no matter what bad stuff was still around there or higher up in my intestines. I figured if I could get them to grow, they would eventually outcompete their rude and unhealthy neighbors and tell my immune system to tell everyone else to simmer the fuck down. I guess that's why I should stop worrying about what's going on now and wait a few months to see what happens. But what I'm trying to say is that I'm eating for my goals, not my current symptoms, right now. And I don't know whether that's what's best for me right now, but it's what I'm doing. I tried to talk this over with the clinic but didn't really get an answer. And I understand. Everyone's different. Not only does everyone respond differently, but we all come from such different places of medical history, current symptoms, and current diets. And then we all do different things and feel different things as the treatments occur. So who knows which variables contribute the most to success? It's a total crapshoot (pun intended).

On a related note to eating my goals, I also had some dairy. I found myself in the health store looking at the fridge and thinking I should've been eating fermented food this whole time. But by the time I had that thought, I didn't have enough days left to finish the large jar of red sauerkraut I saw, so after some hesitation (and disappointment at the ingredients in the other fermented options), I went with something that sounded like milk kefir. Well, that was dumb. I talked up all the stories I'd heard about milk kefir being some magic elixir and forgot the most important argument--my body doesn't like it. Anything with more dairy in it than butter makes turns my moderate allergies severe and just generally makes me feel ill. Last week was no exception. And due to my lack of willpower (or something) towards my ability to waste food, I continued to eat it anyway. I even did the same for some maybe organic, maybe grass-fed cheddar my mom had left. Bad. Bad. Bad. I kept trying to tell myself I was training my new friends, but they weren't ready to be thrown in the deep end just yet.

Without further ado, here's what I've been eating.

Aforementioned allergen-friendly restaurant in Cambridge

Aforementioned allergen-friendly restaurant in Cambridge

Snacks from the health food store in Hitchin, served with dried fruit and/or in coconut yogurt

Breakfast of GF organic pork leek sausage, hard boiled egg, and a cauliflower, onion, zucchini stir-fry 

Salad with mixed greens, olives, avocado, beets, and tuna with oil and vinegar served up with Nom Nom Paleo's podcast

Beef burger with bacon and asparagus and mushrooms

The making of one of the greatest meals I ever made: chicken breasts with onions and dried apricots, deglazed with chicken stock from the grocery store

The finished product with sweet potatoes and broccoli

A light breakfast of honey dew melon and the amazingly clean coconut yogurt

Bad dairy decision #1: kefir-like drink mixed with blackberries and coconut milk yogurt

Brunch of GF organic pork leek pork sausages, spinach, artichokes with butter, coconut yogurt with strawberries and blackberries, a little bit of chicken stock, and herbal tea with a little bit of the kefir

Ground beef, zucchini, cabbage, garlic, and onion stir fry with orange and white sweet potatoes

Light breakfast of honey dew melon drizzled with coconut butter and pumpkin seed butter

The last of the kefir over raspberries and strawberries with pumpkin seed butter and honey

Smoked haddock with steamed orange and black carrots with lots of a big blob of butter and sweet potatoes with fermented and then pasteurized beet juice (only option...)

Dessert of cold cherries dipped in warm coconut butter

Weekend brunch of eggs scrambled with mushrooms, broccoli, garlic, onions, basil, and bad dairy decision #2, cheddar, over sweet potatoes with a side of strawberries and dried blueberries in coconut yogurt with herbal tea 

Organic beef meatballs with very clean, minimal ingredients, steamed kale, carrots, and sweet potatoes

I cooked one pound of English rhubarb with two dried apricots. Here's half of it mixed with coconut butter. 

Big weekend brunch of a zucchini, garlic, onion, mushroom, basil stir-fry with eggs, sweet potatoes, strawberries and dried blueberries in coconut milk yogurt with honey, and herbal tea with coconut butter

Three fresh Turkish figs cooked down with butter, a few strawberries, and a handful of dried blueberries. Served here mixed with coconut yogurt, honey, and pumpkin seed butter. 

Dinner of cabbage, onions, garlic, and Jerusalem artichokes with organic beef meatballs; peas with olive oil; sweet potatoes; and beet juice

Lunch of cabbage, onions, garlic, and jerusalem artichokes with organic beef meatballs, artichokes with butter, and beet juice

Second to last dinner was probably too heavy on the FODMAPs (but not the only one) – cabbage, garlic, onions, Jerusalem artichokes, carrots, and peas topped with beef meatballs and sweet potatoes

Final lunch in Hertfordshire, already trying to tone down the FODMAPs: all the leftover carrots with butter, beef meatballs, baked kale, and sweet potatoes

 And a final dinner: "room service" 

Room service order: a plate, a bowl, and a setting of cutlery

Add to that Scottish smoked salmon, hard boiled eggs, coriander (cilantro?), and cherries

Looks better to me than any of the room service options

Served up with some Ina and herbal tea

A pleasant surprise that I didn't overcook the hard boiled eggs as I had thought

My final breakfast at the hotel: lukewarm chocolate coconut yogurt, dried blueberries, honey, and pumpkin seed butter. The 4:15 am sunrise finally worked in my favor when my alarm went off at this time and it was already bright outside!

Step Four: Game Time! (Part Four)

Weekend

I felt ok waking up on Saturday and had a big brunch. It was raining, so I laid down for a bit to read. A few hours later when I got up, I felt pretty nauseous and woozy. Even as the rain cleared, I just sat around and read. Finally by the evening I was feeling ok enough to find a bag that would fit my implant box to take home. I checked out the Hatfield Galleria and was finally successful. I made it a quick trip though because at this point in my life, malls are pretty overwhelming with the smells, noise, and crowds. 

I managed to have a tiny dinner after, though it gave me a lot of reflux into the night. 

Sunday morning I woke up feeling ok, so I had another big brunch. It rained again in the morning and cleared up slowly, so I debated between checking out another estate or going to the zoo. I'm fairly ambivalent towards zoos but I figured since this one was in a pretty rural setting and had connections to conservations I'd heard of, it might be worth a shot. I decided to go there instead of walk around dreary gardens. 

The drive there was both nerve-racking and beautiful. Several roads were two-way but only wide enough for one car. That's tough to manage in the best of conditions, but the fields and houses and horses on the way made it even more difficult. I got there no problem, though.

I was a little disappointed in the zoo. The enclosures were pretty small considering the zoo is surrounded by fields (I really didn't understand why the zebras didn't have a legit grassy horse paddock) and half of the park is made up of redundant playgrounds, jungle gyms, and stupid, flashy kid attractions. This led to a lot of noise pollution for the poor animals. One of the gibbons seemed to be exhibiting stereotypical behavior. However, some of their animals were rescued pets and, if the signs were right, they had two very healthy-looking fourteen and fifteen year old wolves, so it definitely wasn't the most depressing zoo I'd ever been to. They also put a lot of emphasis on conservation education, if the kids can be bothered to leave the play area.

On the way home, I stopped at a parking lot on the side of the road to wander around some woods. I didn't plan on being there that long but unsuccessfully tried to make a loop, so eventually I had to backtrack. I met lots of happy off-leash dogs along the way.

I also came across some farm's private agility field

I came back to read and watch a movie and went out for another short walk before dinner. Unfortunately halfway through dinner, the nausea came back and I had to put it away and save it for another day. It lasted into trying to fall asleep and I ended up only getting about three hours of sleep. I also had the worst GI symptoms all weekend. On top of the nausea, I had a little diarrhea and pretty awful gas almost the whole time. Jerusalem artichokes are possibly to blame. 

Day 9

I woke up feeling pretty awful. The implant went ok, though. I spent the next few hours wandering around Hitchin one last time, wandering into the stores I'd missed and buying a couple of things I'd been thinking about. I sat around and read there for a while and then headed home. I ate lunch with a movie, read some more, and went for one last walk while dinner warmed up. I was able to retain the implant the whole day for the first time. 

Hitchin

Day 10 

My allergies were awful this morning and I'm not sure why. My last implant went ok. No angels came down and sang or anything. Afterwards I had my exit interview with Annie. Under the question of what improvements I've seen since the treatment began, I had a big, fat "N/A." But that's ok, because she said that's what 70% of the exit interviews look like. She also told me I should be eating to minimize symptoms. Oops. She said that if I'm experiencing symptoms, I'm not ready to be eating those foods, which makes sense. I'm not concerned I ruined my chances for success, but unfortunately I caused myself unnecessary suffering. I think my plan right now is to go low FODMAP but include sweet potatoes for a few days, and then slowly increase the FODMAPs.

We also talked about how the ideal scenario is that Taymount is just a little local British clinic, since travel messes people up so much, and that implants would be so cheap that people could get their ten, and then take at least forty home with them to use every two every week. I hope that's what the future looks like--lots of little Taymounts all over the world. Maybe if it works and I feel I later need a top-up by then there will be more options. 

I didn't linger in Hitchin and instead headed back to the apartment to clean up and pack. I swung by Hitchin on my way to Heathrow to pick up my two implants. Tonight I'm staying at a hotel close to the airport so my 7 am flight tomorrow is as painless as can be. It's a little bittersweet to leave Hertfordshire. I'd be happy to stay in the area for another ten implants, but I'm also ready to go home, see my animals, and drink some bone broth. 

Step Four: Game Time! (Part 3)

Day 6

The transplant was uneventful but afterwards they gave me a demo so I'd be able to do it myself at home. With the ten day treatment, you get two complementary treatments, which you can either take home and keep frozen to use within six months, or you can bank them at the clinic, and return to receive them there. The procedure's straightforward enough and much simpler than I imagined, so it should be fine, though I'm not looking forward to it. 

Each wing was about the size of my palm!

There was no rain in the forecast, so even though it was chilly, windy, and a bit cloudy, I figured it was as good a time as any to head to Butterfly World. I'd seen a sign on the way to Heathrow and had put it on my to-do list. 

It definitely would have been better if I could go later in the summer, but it was still a nice time. They have one greenhouse with tropical butterflies and then lots of grounds with really cool, busy, and (to me) typical English gardens, all tucked away and nestled in with each other. I imagine in the warmer months there are butterflies everywhere outside. 

My buddy

I was definitely on my own in terms of age group. Most of the other visitors were parents and kids or groups of young school children. But I listened in on some of their "lectures," and it was fine. 

Parts of the garden are designed to make you feel tiny

The cutter ant room was wild - definitely learned the most there 

Butterfly World happens to be next to a fancy rose garden, so I headed over there next. 

Most bushes were in bloom, so I just wandered around and smelled what I could.

They were on grounds for a house, but it wasn't obvious what goes on in the house and whether it was a place for visitors. There was a nice looking tea room, but I was ready to get rid of my implant and have lunch. 

Watch out for the Digoxin!

I came home for lunch and a movie, but as it was nearing dinner time I wasn't hungry yet, so I took a walk. This time I went across the street down a public bridle path and spied on some nice barns.

Day 7

The day of truth

Ok, so today I did the transplant myself with supervision. It was actually really easy and I'll have no trouble choosing a day to do it and then actually doing it on my own. They say everyone's really different in terms of when they decide to use it. Supposedly many people wait on them and use them if they need antibiotics or get food poisoning, but you have to use them within six months, so that doesn't really make sense to me. I don't see either of those things happening to me within six months. I guess those aren't things people plan on, but aside from a few futile attempts at treating SIBO (won't be bothering with that again), I haven't been on antibiotics since I got my wisdom teeth out four years ago.  And I actually don't think I've ever had food poisoning (knock on wood). I guess I could wait five and a half months just in case, and then use them, but I think I might like to spread them out. You also have an exit stool test, which happens three months post-treatment (apparently it takes three months for it to be 100% your bacteria and none of the donors'), so I'm at least supposed to wait until after that. 

Thursday was actually very warm and sunny, so, as I'm apt to do once in a while, I figured out where the closest shore was and drove in that direction. It took me to Southend-on-sea. 

To be honest, I was a little disappointed when I got there. The tide was low (and several hundred feet out) and it was more of a bay (no waves) and there was also some kind of plant in the distance (though apparently it's one of the cleanest beaches in Britain). But I walked around and got over it. The tide started to come in and there were lots of dogs having a great time. I had a picnic lunch I'd brought, read for a bit, and walked up and down the shore. It was only a little over an hour away and I was glad by the time I left, with the tide all the way in and sailboats bobbing around, filling up more space and making the plant less obvious. 

Day 8

I let myself be transplanted today :) I didn't retain it as long when I did it. Maybe that was coincidence. Afterwards, I tried to go to a pottery painting studio, only to find that you need to give them a full week to glaze your product and I'll be gone before then. That was unfortunate, because I'd really been looking forward to that. There is at least one real art supply store in town, though, and I've been feeling a bit artsy lately. Maybe one of my donors is an artist. Who knows? I also used to be into that when I was younger, so maybe I'm just coming full circle. Not that I want to be an artist or anything, or ever did, but I'm just craving a sketchbook. So I'll look into it the next time I'm in town. I also tried to buy a bag big enough to fit the two transplants I get to take home, but couldn't find one big enough at the market, so it's on my to-do list for the weekend. 

It was cloudy but warm and muggy out, so I chose today to visit Hatfield House. It's another one of those things I've been seeing signs for and thought I should check it out. It was kind of expensive, but worth it. I don't pay much attention to the history of these things, unless I'm already interested. I prefer to just enjoy the architecture and think more about the practicalities of living in these houses. Bedrooms and kitchens are always my favorite. 

Apparently some royal family still lives here...

After the house I moved on to the gardens, which were amazing. If I could time travel, I would definitely spend some time in the Victorian era, being a spunky pants-wearing girl and galloping around the grounds. The sample menus for the nobility weren't too bad, either. 

On the way out, I wandered around Hatfield Park, which is a beautiful and huge green space. There were minimal paved paths and otherwise it was mostly well-manicured lawn. There were many people with off-leash dogs, but not so much that you ever really saw more than one at a time. I took the opportunity for some legit barefoot walking. 

Heading back towards the car, I visited the farm. I think it's geared more towards kids, but whatever. You're also not supposed to touch the animals but let's just say I met some very friendly goats. In the case of the donkeys and some hens (their label was "ex-battery hens"), at least, it seemed to be more of a sanctuary than a working farm.